This blog is going in a new direction.

I’ve decided I want to use Tumblr as a way to document something very personal and private to me. Even if no one reads my blog posts, I want it to be known that I suffer from intense social anxiety and depression. Maybe writing about my struggles will help them fade.

It’s very hard to be honest with anyone about this. My family and friends have no idea. I do a very good job of hiding my pain. I guess that’s why I feel a need to write about this on a public blog. I want to tell people, but it doesn’t feel right when I can’t connect on a deeper level with people. No one has ever been able to meet me on my emotional level, and that makes life very lonely.

I hope I can manage this disease better by writing about it. It would be better if I could talk to someone, but I can tell it will be a long time before I can do that.

sad realization the other day

I have everything I wanted for this stage of my life; art school, a good paying job, Vanderbilt, Eklipse Winterguard, I’ve lost weight and I even got a guy. It doesn’t feel like I have everything I want, though. Still just as lonely. 

in-north-carolina:

The previous North Carolina cities and towns map had some spelling errors. This one is much better and is on sale from BandAPrints on Etsy. (submitted by whatiseenashville)
Thank you! I didn’t notice the errors with that other map until after I posted it.

in-north-carolina:

The previous North Carolina cities and towns map had some spelling errors. This one is much better and is on sale from BandAPrints on Etsy.
(submitted by whatiseenashville)
Thank you! I didn’t notice the errors with that other map until after I posted it.

(via alishainreallife-deactivated201)

schmandrea:

you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells for people you consider friends.

those aren’t friends to begin with.

Out of sight, Out of Mind

I’m really upset that the closet friends I had back home don’t even tell me when they’re in my area.

"We’ll keep in contact!"

Uh huh.

Eternal friendship and the bonding of two cultures.

Eternal friendship and the bonding of two cultures.

I don’t know if I could ever get used to being lonely.

College

I really can’t tell if I’m happy or if there’s just moments that aren’t as bad as others. I think I had higher hopes for this place.. 

i’m looking forward to college and i can’t wait to leave this city, i just wish i had made more memories. ‘the old times’ were the best times, already. i hope this next chapter is nothing like anything i’ve ever experienced.